跟小孩子討論死亡是父母的一個惡夢,講得太真實太灰,孩子不明白之餘,大多數都會以哭聲收場;但如果說人不會死,只是讓孩子有一個錯誤的觀念吧了;所以李太都小心處理跟小朋友討論死亡的問題。兩個子女還小,我跟李生沒有刻意跟他們討論死亡,但現在傳媒資訊發達,而且小朋友日漸長大,總會道聽途說聽到有關死亡的問題。
之前仔仔都曾經說過不想爸爸媽咪死,我們死了他會驚,說著說著就哭了。今天晚上原應早一點上床,因為明天要早起焗兩個蘋果批,但因為睡前仔仔跟豬扒妹提及退休和死亡,我要快快寫下,以免明天忘記了一段難忘的對話。
當我把仔仔叫到洗手間擦牙,仔仔突然說:Mommy I don't want you to retire?
我說:為甚麼?
他說:If you retire,I don't know how to go back home。
這真是丈八金剛,完全沒有頭緒兩者有何關連。
我說:When you grow up,you will know how to come home. Mommy will wait for you at home。
他哇啦哇啦的開始哭了起來,說:I don't want you to die。
我說:Retire means that Mommy and Daddy are too old to go to work. But, when you grow up, you will know how to go home。
豬扒妹聽著聽著都哭起來:Then, who take me to school?
我說:When you grow up,you can go to school yourself。
豬扒妹:No,I cannot walk across the street. The car will crash me。
慢著,他們似乎不清楚Retire的意思,我試著解釋:When Daddy and Mommy grow old,we cannot work any more. So we need to stop to go to work which means retire.
仔仔:But I don't want you die。
我問:Retire does not mean die. We can retire but we may not die。
兩個孩子哭得很慘,他們不明白retire的意思,以為即是死亡,當聽到媽咪爸爸會死,他們就感到很悲傷。李生原本已上床就寢,聽到兩個娃兒哭得慘了,就起來看個究竟,但最後都唯有由媽媽收捨場面,給兩個娃娃說:There is a long way to go before daddy and mommy retire,so you don't have to worry yet。
豬扒妹不竟還少,她居然就這一句反應說:I don't want a long way, it is too tired for me.
哈哈,都不知應怎樣再說下去,唯有保證媽咪爸爸不會這麼快離開他們,給他們一把毛巾抹去眼淚就帶他們到睡房去睡了。
之前仔仔都曾經說過不想爸爸媽咪死,我們死了他會驚,說著說著就哭了。今天晚上原應早一點上床,因為明天要早起焗兩個蘋果批,但因為睡前仔仔跟豬扒妹提及退休和死亡,我要快快寫下,以免明天忘記了一段難忘的對話。
當我把仔仔叫到洗手間擦牙,仔仔突然說:Mommy I don't want you to retire?
我說:為甚麼?
他說:If you retire,I don't know how to go back home。
這真是丈八金剛,完全沒有頭緒兩者有何關連。
我說:When you grow up,you will know how to come home. Mommy will wait for you at home。
他哇啦哇啦的開始哭了起來,說:I don't want you to die。
我說:Retire means that Mommy and Daddy are too old to go to work. But, when you grow up, you will know how to go home。
豬扒妹聽著聽著都哭起來:Then, who take me to school?
我說:When you grow up,you can go to school yourself。
豬扒妹:No,I cannot walk across the street. The car will crash me。
慢著,他們似乎不清楚Retire的意思,我試著解釋:When Daddy and Mommy grow old,we cannot work any more. So we need to stop to go to work which means retire.
仔仔:But I don't want you die。
我問:Retire does not mean die. We can retire but we may not die。
兩個孩子哭得很慘,他們不明白retire的意思,以為即是死亡,當聽到媽咪爸爸會死,他們就感到很悲傷。李生原本已上床就寢,聽到兩個娃兒哭得慘了,就起來看個究竟,但最後都唯有由媽媽收捨場面,給兩個娃娃說:There is a long way to go before daddy and mommy retire,so you don't have to worry yet。
豬扒妹不竟還少,她居然就這一句反應說:I don't want a long way, it is too tired for me.
哈哈,都不知應怎樣再說下去,唯有保證媽咪爸爸不會這麼快離開他們,給他們一把毛巾抹去眼淚就帶他們到睡房去睡了。
呵呵~我諗每個人都會經歷同樣的感覺:)
ReplyDelete我覺得細細個就俾佢地明白死亡,會令小朋友更珍惜每一天
[版主回覆07/28/2012 23:54:22]係呀,唔可以迴避,因為遲早要知,早D俾個正確觀念較好。
大鑊!!
ReplyDelete[版主回覆07/28/2012 23:53:24]唔大鑊,正好機會討論有關死亡,小朋友理解簡單,所以更要好好解釋。
[Maggie Kitchen回覆07/28/2012 22:13:27]不大鑊~稍早有空talk again
where did they get the idea that retire means death?
ReplyDelete[版主回覆07/29/2012 10:11:07]不知道,因為現在小兒放暑假不用上學,不會是從學校學到,或許是電視或上街時聽人說的,只是奇怪何解會以為Retire=Die。
我個仔經歷過公公離世, 所以好早已知何謂死亡... 都經過一段時間療傷.....
ReplyDelete[版主回覆07/30/2012 15:32:38]其實真係唔想小朋友咁早經歷死亡,但生死有命,有時都不受控制,不過要面對時,一定要清楚明白去解釋,小朋友記憶對佢地影響真係好深遠。
其實也可以趁機會講故事教他們.......精神上是沒有死亡......是很好教材也可引導思考啊
ReplyDelete[版主回覆07/31/2012 07:03:24]其實以前帶佢地去拜出都約略講過,不過佢地好似未係好明白。
由於我媽媽是突然離開的(當時我已結婚),令我極傷心之餘,也會想到有一天自己可能也會這樣就死去,所以不再把目標放在未來,而是放在現在,也會不時跟女兒說這問題,希望有朝一天我真的走了,她也可以堅強地活下去.....
ReplyDelete[版主回覆07/31/2012 13:06:25]所以我贊成正面去答小朋友有關死亡問題,只要因應年紀去決定點樣解釋,等小朋友明白,迴避問題只會令小朋友有錯誤觀念。親人離去必定傷心,但生活仍是要過,時間可以幫助沖淡但不能令傷痛消失,適量的宣洩傷痛是必須的。